One of These Days…
Conductor, A train, at Jay Street/Metrotech, Brooklyn, to a packed train as he struggles to get the doors closed: “One of these days you gonna get your leg caught and the train’s gonna drag you down...
View ArticleFrom the Mouths of Babes…
Seven-year-old to his mother: “Mommy, why is that Chinese woman carrying her trash on to the train?” “They are called recyclables, my dear.” “Ok, so why is that recyclable bringing her trash on to the...
View ArticleBrandon: Better Straight Than Gay?
Two women on the uptown F platform at 23rd Street: “Seriously, like, the more you hang out with Brandon the straighter he gets!” “Oh, I know, totally! But it is a good thing?”
View ArticleWhat are those Spanish Ads Saying?
Two older gentlemen on the R train in Brooklyn: “See all them ads in Spanish on the platform? They really annoy me.” “Why? ‘Cause you don’t know Spanish?” “Yeah, but mainly ’cause I think they’re...
View ArticleThe Sign Read “homeless, hungry & pregnant”
“did you see that homeless person with the sign at the entrance?” “yeah, I’ve seen quite a few with signs since we arrived.” “well, it made me wonder where these hungry and homeless people are having...
View ArticleClothes Your Mama Chose
“Yo, I think British Knights be making a comeback. I seen a lot of n—-s wearin’ ‘em recently.” “Yeah, I remember when they was popular back in the ’80s. They was the hottest things for a while, like...
View ArticleHow to Get Elbow Room on the Subway #2
“Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to put the bodies.” - man’s shirt at Jay St / Metrotech Brooklyn “Bath salts made me do it.” - woman’s shirt at Port Authority Bus Terminal “Betty Ford...
View ArticleMagazines, Schmagazines…
“Why all these women’s magazines be about pleasing your man with the sex he craves? Everybody knows he just want you to be a slut and then cook his dinner.” - woman on the C train
View ArticleWith Fans Like This, Who Needs Enemies?
“Yo, Michael Vick is one pussy ass n—a!” “Why you say that? I thought you liked the Eagles” “‘Cause he always getting injured and shit.” “I thought you was gonna say that it was because he let them put...
View ArticleSweet as a Nut
“Something smells sweet and nice, you know, like that guys nuts on the corner?” “That’s what she said.” - two women waiting for the L train
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